Exhilarating, exciting, but often elusive, the female orgasm is a pleasure phenomenon that is complex and incredibly rewarding. Do you think you know everything there is to know about the Big O? We talked to several O-pros to get the dish on a few things every man and woman should know about the female orgasm.

1. Stress & Anxiety are Killer on Lady-Boners

Contrary to popular belief, the brain is our main sexual organ. So, like many other things, the body and mind rely on each other to by in sync when it comes or orgasms. A stressful day can really put a damper on a woman’s ability to experience sexual release, which ironically enough is also a great way to release stress! Stress getting in the way of sex? Try a sexy massage, warm bath and foreplay and you’ll be on a one-way ride from Oh no-ville to O-town.

2. 2 Spots, 2 Chances

When taking on the challenge of the female O, it’s important to know that all women are different. About 10% of women are anorgasmic, or unable to achieve climax and over 60% of women have difficulty reaching orgasm from penetration. Luckily, many ladies have 2 shots at reaching the moan zone. The first being external (clitoral) stimulation and the second being internal (g-spot) stimulation. This is where you want to get creative. Don’t be scared of getting a little digital help from a vibrator.

3. Multiple Orgasms are Not a Myth

Unlike men who often have a substantial refractory period, women are able to balance several orgasms at once or back to back. Sequential orgasms, orgasms that come one after another are often punctuated by 2-4 minutes and are the ones you are the most likely to be able to control. So, the next time she reaches her first climax, don’t rest on your laurels! Keeping in mind her clitoral sensitivity, keep going and go for the gold!

4. The Clit is Key

Of 100 women polled, over 80 claimed that the most sure-fire way to reach orgasm is from oral stimulation of the clitoris. With over 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, it is no wonder why! The most reliable way for a woman to experience orgasm is if their clitoris is stimulated manually, orally, with the use of a vibrator or from certain sex positions like women-on-top.

5. Time is of the Essence

On average, women take 15-45 minutes longer to achieve orgasm than men do. Women often need a bit more warming up. Foreplay like stroking, kissing and rubbing can not only help a women achieve the big O, it can also intensify it and make it that much more satisfying. The main reason women fake orgasms is from pressure that its taking too long compared to their male counterpart. So, if her pleasure is your priority, be patient.