Ahhh, the elusive unicorn. Peruse any swing/poly/hookup/adult lifestyle website or app and you will inevitably come across tales of this magical creature and whether they actually exist or not. First, let’s begin with the terms “unicorn” and “unicorn hunting.” While many bi women proudly identify as unicorns, others see this term as negative or offensive.

Usually used to describe an HBB (hot, bi babe), a unicorn can be any gender, but most often describes bi-sexual women who are open to hooking up with established couples. Unicorn hunting, as you may have guessed, describes the acts of couples looking to find a unicorn. Depending on whom you ask, unicorn hunters are male/female couples who are looking to find a person to join their relationship permanently, forming a “triad” or “throuple.” Others describe unicorn hunters as male/female couples, mostly looking to spice up their sex lives with the addition of a unicorn for a NSA threesome.

Whether you’re seeking a long-term addition to your relationship or a one-night-stand, the following are three huge faux paus to avoid when you’re on the hunt for the elusive unicorn.


Opening your relationship can be a fun, exciting and positively life-changing decision. However, diving into a situation without discussing everyone’s desires and expectations can lead to disaster. Do you want to be part of a throuple or just enjoy a threesome? Are you in an open relationship or wanting a polyamorous one? What are your hard limits? Safe words? Reservations? Specific fantasies? Communicate what you really want! Keeping the lines of communication open among everyone is the key to a successful experience.


Being reduced to a night-table object and being made to feel like a “third wheel” doesn’t feel very sexy for most people. A major mistake couples often make is expecting the unicorn to enter their relationship as a treat or tool rather than a thinking, feeling human being. While the attention, flirtation and carnal pleasure of a threesome or triad relationship can be enticing, many unicorns wish to be stimulated both physically and mentally, whether it’s for one night or an ongoing thing. Consider that person’s needs and pleasures, as well as your own and you’ll be headed for fun.


We’ve established that clear communication and not objectifying unicorns are paramount to achieving peak pleasure but even when intentions are in the right place, finding the right person, like in any type of relationship, can take time. Going out on the prowl like you’re actually hunting is both a turn-off and a sure-fire way to make things feel forced and awkward. Instead, just be open, relaxed and ready to fulfill your fantasy, whenever the opportunity arises.